Interview with:Oliver the Oracle [olivertheoracle]
PHILOSOPHY
 | For you, what is "the good life"? To have the brain of Adam Savage, the body of Ryan Gosling, and the cock of Ron Jeremy. |
| What is the secret to happiness? Seratonin and Dopamine |
| What is a friend? When you pass out drunk and somebody pulls your shoes off so that none of the other people while draw penises on your face, that's friendship. |
| Please list your philosophy of good health. Smoke filtered cigarettes. |
| Does the soul exist? Not everyone has a soul, but I do. I have several, as a matter of fact. |
| Where does science end and ideology begin? Fact. |
| Your own definition for beauty Scarlett Johansson circa 2000, wearing a cocktail dress made of Dali paintings. |
| What is God? A dick. He's a complete dick. |
| If the ticket price for a football match is twice the regular price for those 12 years of age or older, and your child turned twelve yesterday, what age would you say your child is? I wouldn't take my child to a football "match" because I'm American and soccer is stupid. |
| If you were a millionaire, what would be your charitable work? I would buy food and clothing for my lazy good-for-nothing children. |
| Your sins and virtues. All, in both columns. |
| Please list three important words for the world today. Aliens hate us. |
| What is the best attitude to have for experiencing life and not missing out on its intensity? Never turn down a drink and never waste an erection. |
| On your death bed, what do you think you will regret not having done more of in life? Tweeting. |
| What will your epitaph be? "Here lies a man who predicted his own death." |
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