Interview with Rujuta Vinod [rujutavinod]

Which is your specialty in psychology?

I am MD. I am specially trained into Counseling and Psychotherapy. I use eclectic approach while working with my clients.

What types of clients do you work with?

I welcome and work with fairly normal and functioning individuals, who are interested in knowing themselves, in relation with their concept of world. My expertise is in helping clients having "relationship problems", "Compulsive skin picking", "Low self-image in spite of successful career", persons with Type A personality.

Is there a web site or blog where we can learn more about you?

Yes. I have these websites: http://www.sweekruti.org (in English) http://www.sweekruti.com (in Marathi) I have two blogs: Rujuta Art Therapy (http://rujutaarttherapy.blogspot.com) God-Man-Religion (http://god-man-religion.blogspot.com)

What methods do you employ? Could you briefly explain the principles your approach is based on?

I use eclectic approach. I am trained into person centered, gestalt, existential, cognitive behavioral schools of counseling and psychotherapy. I spontaneously select and use that technique and philosophy, which will be appropriate in the present circumstances of my client. My client's best interests are always my first priority. Principles of my work are: 1) Safety of my client 2) Building trusting warm therapeutic relationship with my client 3) Honest-genuine-transparent simple way of communication with my client 4) Helping client to work on him/her self to be emotionally strong and independent.

How do you market your services? Where do your new clients come from?

I have provided a link for my clients on my websites, so that they can communicate to me directly. I have inserted adv on Google. My clients come from US, Europe.

How obsolete is Freud today?

Dr. Sigmund Freud is the father of counseling and psychotherapy. He was honest and open in his writings. He has done a pioneer work in understanding human mind. All schools of counseling and psychotherapy are primarily based on his concepts. People in general, have misunderstood his writings. I have spent lot of time in contemplating the basics he has provided to us. In my practice, I witness some of his fundamental observations being true.

What are some simple things that one can to do to fight stress and anxiety?

Every single being faces stress of life right from birth. We all experience anxiety about present and future right from our early age. We develop an unconscious strategy to handle that stress. This strategy becomes irrelevant when we become adult and independent. As a result we experience frequent internal conflicts. This conflict is due to the exactly opposite views from head (intellect) and heart (emotion). We repeatedly fail to deal with emotional crisis because of insufficient knowledge about our own mind. Based on this background, I would like to suggest simple things to understand while handling stress and anxiety: 1) stress is universal 2) our suffering is as a result of our unrealistic expectations from self and from others 3) One needs to stop blaming others for one's failures 4) one needs to understand basic structure of one's mind and spend time in training oneself in handling one's stress in a constructive way.

Depression is almost epidemic. What is going wrong on the societal level?

What goes up, necessarily after a while, comes down. We all experience elation and depression alternately. Elation happens due to fulfillment of one's expectations. One tends to wish further and strives hard to get his/her wishes fulfilled. If one gets success, he/she goes on wishing for more and more. As long as one is aware of one's limitations and existential realities...one may prepare for disappointments as well. Fulfillment of a wish is not totally under control of any human being. Disappointments therefore are part of our life. One can constructively utilize disappointment in a smart way. If one is not prepared for disappointments and gets severely affected by them, then he/she gets frustrated. Chronic frustration leads to depression. Our unsatisfiable greed is the cause of depression.

What do dreams mean?

We all dream everyday during our sleep/nap. If we miss our sleep (REM-rapid eye movement) for few days, we experience serious trouble in our daily functioning. Dr. Freud and Dr. Perls have contributed tremendously in study of dreams. We harbour rich untapped storage of information in our subconscious mind. Dreams are of two types. The dreams we get during light sleep- (NREM) a semi wakeful state, in which, we experience black and while or gray colored images with less emotional content of routine life. During deep sleep with REM, we experience colorful, highly emotional, fast action packed symbolic content directly or indirectly related to our existential realities. People can be classified into dream recallers and non-recallers. Working on dreams with clients is a fascinating and eye opening amazing experience.

Why is it so difficult for us to forgive ourselves?

As long as we are convinced that things should happen the way we wish them to happen and have an idealistic image of self and the world around, forgiving won't be possible. To forgive anybody else or self needs a serious thorough self-work. Ones needs to understand and accept certain existential realities. We all are mortals, imperfect and can partially control our environment. Blaming, punishing, taking revenge, ignoring, glorifying appear quick solutions at hand. They invariably create more complications. When we work on our perfectionism, idealism - our pseudo self-image, we prepare ourselves to forgive our self and build our personality again.

What does the phenomenon of falling in love consist of? Is there a cure?

Falling in love can be seen as a phenomenon of getting an opportunity to feel good about oneself. Many of us are not totally happy with our "self"...our looks, achievements, personality. We are in the process of improvement all the time. We are painfully aware of our mistakes, limitations, faults, weaknesses. We hardly accept us as we are. When one gets unexpected acceptance and appreciation from another person, one may feel overwhelmed and happy and grateful that somebody else can see what he/she cannot see. This feeling produces "feel good" hormones in the brain. This phenomenon creates an upward spiral for seeking more appreciation and acceptance. One tends to get habituated to high levels of this hormone and, externally to the lover apparently responsible for creating rosy feeling. One is bound to get disillusioned-disappointed in an inevitable process of finding faults in the lover and in self. This may create a downward spiral towards depression. Exploration of pseudo-self, finding real self and accepting existential realities unconditionally may help a seeker, break the game of exploiting somebody, to feel good.

What are the keys to creating healthy relationships?

One needs to start with one self. One needs to spare time and utilize energy to understand one's relation with oneself and that with others as a reflection. Accepting oneself, after finding a true self, is the master key to build a creative healthy relation with self. The moment, one accepts inevitable phenomena like aloneness, death, limited resources on earth, futility of idealism, one tries to see life as one moment at a time. One can break an ever frustrating game of pleasing others to please oneself. Once, one feels comfortable with one self either alone or in social situations, one feels happy. This happiness comes out of internal health. Internally healthy-comfortable state helps a person to tackle everyday problems in a new perspective. He/She in turn, accepts others as they are and relates with them with honesty-transparency-genuineness. His/Her self-trust creates trust in others. Trust is the foundation of creative healthy relationships.

What new trends in psychology have stirred up your interest the most?

How is the creative personality different from others?

We all are more or less creative. Most of us find comfort in an imaginary self-created fort. This fort we build with certain relatively stable and safe ideas. We feel good when we follow certain routine. Any change inside or outside may create a temporary feeling of instability. Change is an essential part of life. Each one of us has different capacity to deal with uncertainties and unpredictability of life events. Those who refuse to change, with change in life, become rigid and eventually get regressed. Those who receive change and convert it into a challenge to grow, succeeds in being happy. Creativity is essentially a calculated risk taking. It involves fresh outlook towards changing life scenario, creating multiple ideas to deal with challenges in a productive and constructive way, cautious execution of those ideas, being alert all the time, putting hard work to actualize that creative idea, saying a clear "NO" to non-productive pursuits. Major risk is being alone in a stage of ideation and, in a stage of temporary failures. Those who seek comfort by holding onto others may find hard to remain creative.

What is a “healthy” ego?

Dr. Sigmund Freud viewed human mind having three components. 1) Id or a child - impulsive, immature, craving for love-acceptance-intimacy, wishful, selfish, manipulative [I WANT]. We develop this component first as it is essential for our survival. 2) Superego or a parent - idealistic, perfectionist, disciplinarian, moralistic, manipulative [ I SHOULD-OUGHT-MUST-HAVE TO] - We develop this part through our training being supervised by our parents, elder siblings, teachers, bosses..any authority person in our surroundings. We develop this to get adjusted at home and in school and in society. In our adulthood, during internal conflicts, we come to know about the presence of two parties. Both wish to win in a tussle. We get torn between "we want" and "we should". Most of the times, our superego is topdog and an Id is an underdog. 3) Our ego is underdeveloped and succumbs to pressures from dominant component. Ego has a role to choose right component for decision making. Ego can be developed with training in rational thinking, acquiring realistic vision, developing self-fulfilling prophecy. People with fragile ego strengths fail to grow and mature in adult life in spite of good intellect. They develop self-defeating prophecy and make their life miserable. In turn, their families suffer. People who develop good ego strength, find happiness and can help others become happy.

Which are the most common psychological problems of artists and creative people in general?

In terms of brain hemispherical preferences, It is observed that the left hemisphere governs verbal, logical, rational, linear, perception-thinking-action and the right hemisphere governs visual-spatial ability, non-verbal emotional content with, non-linear simultaneous holistic attitude. Any successful creative venture involves both. Creativity necessarily involves- - Perception of change in environment (perception) - Necessity to think in a different way (divergent thinking) - Giving multiple trials (risk taking) - Learning from failures (perseverance, motivation and self-confidence) - Team spirit, team building, sense of justice, leadership - Goal setting - Working hard in coordination till goal is achieved - Rewarding This whole process produces an ability to trust in self and trust others. Lacking in any crucial ability within this chain produces problems for self and for others. Most common problems I have seen in my practice are- - unrealistic thinking and expectations - inability to handle disappointments - lack of trust in self and in others - lack of motivation to actualize the dreams/ideas - desperation to win - appointing wrong people for wrong positions - procrastination - fear of failures - low self-image

What kinds of people do you think are at high risk for addiction?

Addiction is a consistent physical and psychological dependence on any object. An addict feels that he/she cannot do without his/her preferred object/s. We all are dependent on air-water-food-clothing-shelter for our survival. We also need intimacy in our early period of life, to sustain with a wish to live. We eventually understand that we cannot hold on to any thing for ever. We try to find and replace the older support with a new one. Our existence is interdependent. If our physical and psychological supports help us become healthy, functional and responsible persons in society, we call them necessities. If the supports are destructive to physical-psychological-social health...they are harmful. One has to draw a line between the growth and harm. What makes a person to choose harm than growth, consciously and unconsciously? These are the people who have low self-image thereby low ego strength. They need something to boost their ego. They initially try other common methods but fail to get that boost. They start preferring to escape rather than face harsh realities of life. They regress and hold on to the immature-impulsive-irresponsible child in them. They switch between guilt and pride. When they are conscious and functional they get depressed because of overwhelming shame. Slowly they alienate themselves from general society and prefer the like minded substance abusers. Persons with traumatic childhood with harsh disciplinarian parents/teachers, and victims of physical-sexual-emotional abuse tend to hold onto addictive substance/s. They find temporary peace, with false sense of intimacy, under the effect of chosen object.

Is it possible to program the unconscious mind for success?

In our subconscious, we store two types of programs, which we develop unconsciously during our childhood. - Self-fulfilling - self-defeating At every crossroad, we get into a fix of choosing one of these two. Both have rewards and punishments. The feelings of reward (success) and punishment (failure) are entirely "subjective". A small child who feels lonely may feel rewarded by unconsciously seeking a corporal punishment (negative gesture of human contact) from his/her busy parent/s. In our adulthood, in old age as well, a child in us remains alive and it thrives when he gets a chance. As responsible adults, we need to understand the complexity of terms like failure and success, confrontation and escapism, temporary fun and long term peace. We then will be able to choose the right path consciously and not repent.

What books do you recommend to help us develop a better understanding of ourselves?

Balancing Expectations and disappointments in your life - Dr. David Brandt Gestalt therapy - Dr. Perls Existential psychotherapy - Dr. Irvin Yalom Group psychotherapy - Dr. Irvin Yalom Defense mechanisms - Dr.Anna Freud

In the past there was a lot of stigma associated with going to therapy, but now it is rather fashionable. When is and when isn't help from a psychotherapist necessary?

This is good question with practical implications. Situations in which one needs to think of seeking help from psychotherapist are - All symptoms of chronic frustration....uncalled for sadness, weeping, loss of confidence, repeated failures in academic-professional career, disturbed relationships within family, in office, at school-college, in social situations, disproportionate anger-guilt-shame, unresolved grief and bereavement, substance abuse, panic attacks, feeling of consistent dissatisfaction, harmful behavior towards self and to others Unnecessary seek for help - For fun and for past time - For testing the mettle of a help person - To harm a help person - To seek private information of another client - To prematurely learn and use therapist's techniques to gain confidential information from any other person

How should one deal with a friend who "psychoanalyzes" without having been asked to do so?

The trainees and amateur health professionals tend to try their skills on their relatives and friends during their initial period of training. If the person undergoing such trials understands that he/she is being used by their relative or friend consciously or unconsciously- he/she - needs to stop the concerned person going ahead - needs to confront him/her to know conscious-unconscious motives - suggest him/her to consult his/her supervisor - suggest him/her to keep the information confidential - alert other relatives/friends

Give us a simple prescription for happiness

Happiness is a highly subjective, positive, healthy feeling. One cannot get it by searching and seeking it outside one self. The one who is motivated to experience it, needs to be courageous, genuine, trustworthy, open, transparent, consistent, patient and cooperative with his/her help-person or a mentor. This inward journey is a long-term, initially hard and painful experience, with a commitment to self and to the help person. Working on conflicts and getting their resolution, is the work, one needs to do under supervision. After termination of work, one needs to be alert and aware of the ever present pull of the dark, defeating, unconscious, dominating force in our subconscious. Life is like a war, one needs to forearm oneself and prepare one self to make correct choice.

What is your blog address? What subjects do you deal with?

My blog address is http://www.rujutaarttherapy.blogspot.com Another blog is http://www.God-Man-Religion.blogspot.com My new blog is http://rangoliart-devseva.blogspot.com In my first blog, I have scanned and uploaded my few selected images from my 58 paintings with a commentary. ------------------------- On May 1st 2010, I created one more blog http://god-man-religion.blogspot.com It contains 16 posts and two pages. In my third blog, I have been uploading images of my handmade art forms -Rangoli an Indian Traditional art form to worship deities especially in temples. It is a spontaneous writing done while being a seeker.

What was it that made you create your blog? On what date did you start it?

My first blog: As part of my training and self-work, I have undergone long term personal therapy and group therapy (2001-2). During the whole process, I visualized lots of images. I then tired to draw and paint some of them. I used those expressions during my therapeutic work, to know more about myself. I was helped by my therapist in exploring, what all I wished to say through those paintings. After termination of my personal therapy, I stored away my paintings for almost 5 years. When I opened my gmail account during 2007, I eventually came to know about a gadget called blog, where I could store my images. I felt that its the right time to share my experience with the world. I started selecting my paintings with a theme in my mind. Then, I worked on a rough outline of my story, based on my own therapeutic experience. The date when I published my blog: December 22 , 2007 Then I felt that its too unwieldy, so I selected few images from the lot and removed other images. Now its small and manageable and interesting. Second blog - I was working on my website www.anusandhan,org I have uploaded >1000 webpages since its inception. I felt like translating few of my thoughts and prepare a blog. Third blog - I love doing those rangolies and take a snap and edit and upload images. The blog is refreshed almost every week.

What blogging system have you adopted and why?

I just played with the menu provided by Google blog. I then uploaded selected images and eventually I typed a short story for each painting. I had to reorder my images so that viewers could read the whole blog as a complete story. As I got a hang of facilities being provided by Google, I got very pleased and got motivated to try my hand on each menu item, till I felt satisfied with the whole work – a presentation in itself.

How many visits a day do you get? What type of comments do you receive?

Since Dec 2007, 1135 visits till March 1st 2009, ..81 per month, roughly 3 visits per day. People feel overwhelmed by the intensity of my emotions and colors and strokes I have used. They appreciate the life in the images and few sensitive ones feel the movement in certain images. They feel the pain and agony I have gone through during my self-search. They share my happiness and relief, when I found myself and my happiness and peace inside me.

How has 'having a blog' contributed to your life?

I felt happy to publish my paintings and share my experience with others. It is like an e-booklet. I could do it on my own without feeling any need to seek help from other technical experts. The sharing with other artists enriched my life certainly. My extended family members and friends got happily surprised with my creation and congratulated me. They didn't know about that side of me. I felt more open and courageous and confident.

Have you created relationships with other bloggers or readers of your blog?

Yes. I did join few artist communities on orkut and invited members to visit my blog. I felt very happy when renowned artists appreciated my work. They eventually recommended their friends to visit my blog. I joined a community of Down's parents. My elder son has Down's syndrome. I invited other parents to visit my blog. Some of the mothers and fathers shared my pain and were very appreciative of my work. One mother is a professional artist, I could see her refined work and her pain being expressed in very different way. The blog has created a rich networking. Other therapists world over visited my blog and appreciated my work and shared their emotions with me.

How often do you post? Does regular posting of your blog require a lot of effort on your part?

I have spent 2008 in reviewing and editing my blog, very frequently. Based on that experience, I created two more blogs in which, I uploaded 60 poems written by my late father-in-law. I beautified them with relevant images from Google. http://www.maharshivinod.blogspot.com http://www.lovegrief.blogspot.com That was a lot of work. This year, I propose to write necessary details of my paintings, taking note of the repeated suggestions from my viewers. My hard work resulted in better visibility and more sharing. It motivated me to do more experimentation and upgradation, using smart facilities.

Does blogging bring in income for you? Can one make a living from posting?

I did add a gadget of Google adv during initial six months or so. I did't receive any income, yet. Eventually I removed the advertisements. I don't have any idea whether anybody can make a living by posting their work.

How do you promote your blog?

I have shared my blog to all viewers. My blog is registered on Google directory. I have invited my extended family members, friends, colleagues and well-wishers to visit my blog. I have provided link on my websites and on Orkut by joining art communities. Recently I have shared it with twitter and facebook.

Are there any blogs you follow daily or regularly?

I visit blogs by Google frequently to get technical information about various gadgets and facilities.

How do you see your blog evolving in the future?

I need to write the description of each component in every image. I came to know that, common people find it hard to read images. They understand it better by reading my notes.

What advice would you give to someone who wishes to begin a blog?

Get the hang of your inner passion think of the theme and see how best you will present it to others Write down the purpose/aim/goal to be achieved through your blog Visualize your prospective viewers See what do you have in your hands – images/audio clips/video clips/typed notes Open the chosen blog facility and click on menus available to you and play with the tool you have Try uploading first post and publish it and see for yourself Reopen that post and edit it till you feel happy. Try adding images/audio clips/video clips in that post, if you have those in mind Choose a right template for you and see that it matches with the content you wish to upload Start creating and editing remaining posts You can reorder them Write basic info about you and upload your photograph Make changes in the blocks provided in the template and rearrange them the way you want them to present to the audience See which other gadgets are available to you, to make the blog more meaningful and engaging to viewers In the menu, search for security/visibility/publishing options and choose the right ones for you Get an account in analytics and get the information about visitors Give an option to viewers to type and post their comments Invite your friends and well-wishers to visit your blog and get their comments, discuss your viewpoint with them, be open to listen to their point of view Visit your blog frequently and make necessary changes Make the blog fresh and alive and communicative

Ask me a question, make a comment, or request my opinion on something:

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